Oliver

Oliver is almost 6. He's my baby, the youngest of four. He likes making things out of LEGO and KNEX. He can build the most complex of models in the instruction book for older children. He is happy and loving. He likes playing with cars, and his Nintendo DS.

When Oliver was 2 years old he suddenly stopped breathing. It probably only lasted about 30 seconds, but seeing the life drain from him in my arms was something a mother should never have to witness. It was like he just dropped dead. At first I thought he had just fainted, which was scary enough in itself. I tried to wake him by calling and rubbing his chest. I didn't feel any movement. He went blue before my eyes. Blue and lifeless. I ran outside with him screaming. I don't know why I did this. With sense finally kicking in, I started rubbing his chest vigorously. And just like that he suddenly came back to like with a gasp.

The diagnosis in A&E was Acute Life Threatening Episode

There was never any follow up as Oliver appeared to be fit and healthy. I was told it was just one of them things, and to monitor him at home. It was like living on a knifes edge, and I watched him like a hawk. Thankfully he has never stopped breathing again, although he has scared me a few times fainting.

I have always referred to Oliver as 'my little pickle'. Mischievous in a cute and bouncy way. Energetic, and sometimes challenging. There has always been something about Oliver, something not quite right. I have previously put this down to problems he has with his eyesight, and just being a little too 'jump first, think later'.

But today I had a meeting with his headteacher. After a long discussion, and some thought provoking questions, Oliver has been referred for some investigations and extra support. We are thinking along the lines of a mild autism. I can't quite believe I didn't realise before.

Autism and Asperger syndrome

Oliver is likes repetitive behaviour, and becomes distressed with changes in routine. He is obsessed by particular objects, and must take something with him every time he leaves the house. He is clumsy. He does not maintain eye contact, and I am forever trying to get him to look into my eyes to get his attention. He plays alone mostly. He does not imaginatively play. He often acts inappropriately completely innocently. He is slow to learn in school, but excels in model making, and mechanics.

Now we all might be completly wrong, the educational psycologist will be able to give us a better picture. As will the further investigaions into his hearing and speech.

On one hand I am relieved that someone else has seen my concerns and is doing something about it. I have previously asked for help from my G.P and health visitor to no avail. This sort of referal with get results, and Oliver will be given the support he needs.

On the other hand I feel really sad..... And then guilty for feeling so sad. I see parents left right and centre dealing with far worse things, their children being diagnosed with cancer for instance. Oliver's problems are mild, and I have no doubt that with the right support he will thrive and develop well.

I am a great believer that you should never allow an illness or a condition define you, so that will be my aim in being Oliver's mother.

Oliver loves dancing. He thinks Spiderman is the coolest. He has a really cute singing voice. He has a cute little button nose which I kiss at least once a day...