The perfectionist in me...

I hate perfectionists. No-body is ever perfect, and it can drive somebody insane to accept nothing less than perfect. What ever happened to good enough, excellent, or a good try? Perfectionists often get depressed, as everything falls short of their expectations. They never finish a project because they will always think of ways to improve it. They are false, and pretentious. When we aim too high, we end up with our heads stuck in the clouds. Perfectionists procrastinate because they are scared of imperfection.

I have perfectionism in me. Its one thing I really dislike about myself. I had forgotten all about it until I came on here to write a post. I was cross with myself, because the reason I haven't wrote anything in 2 weeks is because I haven't had the time to write a 'decent' post. A 'perfect' post you could say, although I am fully aware that none of my posts are perfect. It is the same with a lot of what I do. And whilst is it important not to settle for second best, best isn't always perfect. When I write an essay I read text book upon text book, and a vast array of nursing journals. I choose complicated scenarios, and avoid the obvious subject matters. I think around the subject, and print off pages and pages of what seems to be valuable research. All in a quest to write a perfect essay. But I noticed something last term, the more I tried to attain perfection, the worse my grades got. I passed everything, but some of the best work came early on in the course when I kept things in perspective.

On the wards I put my all into my nursing, but to be honest the days when I got the best feedback from the other nurses were the days I nursed from the heart. Those days felt good, and I looked good. I don't mean to say I looked attractive, but I radiated something that made the people around me feel better. The days I worried about doing everything perfectly, were also the days I was too preoccupied to interact well with my patients.

Of course certain things in nursing must be perfect. Take drug calculations for instance. There's no room for imperfection there, especially with children. And its no good doing skills less than accurately. Non maleficence (to do no harm) is the main ethical principle in nursing. And if less than perfection means harm of any degree then perfection it must be.

So I am therefore glad i got 20/20 in my nursing calculations exam. Ok its only level 1, but I really wanted perfection knowing the importance of accurate mathematical skills. On the wards you can use a calculator, but you never know when you might not have one and have a tricky dose to work out.

Imperfections of the past 2 weeks are vast, comprising of practically everything else. I have fallen short of doing my homework on time, I have said the wrong thing on several occasions, and have been close to falling asleep in several lectures.

I am not telling you to just get by in life, to only do what is needed. To aim to easily attainable standards. I'm certainly not perfect, and could be giving less than perfect advice. But I think you should always try and be the best you can be. You should always aim high. You should always put your heart and soul into the things you do. But you shouldn't do it to be perfect, or to do something perfectly. You will always fall short in the end, a lot of damage can be done on the way.

So here I am with my imperfect blog post and my imperfect life. My typos and hard to read sentences. My voice spoken at the wrong time, sometimes using the wrong words. But I have got something from it, have you?